she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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