How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
