I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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