Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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