i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
