I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
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you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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