Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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