The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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