we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
