my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize