Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
