You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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