who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
