***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Swine flu. Run for my life!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize