Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
