can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
