I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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