i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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