It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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