Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
