I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
