i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i dont even know how to be here
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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