break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
