dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize