The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
