Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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