I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
