Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
