90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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