dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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