do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
