dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The air was thick with penises
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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