I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
