Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
