I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
