do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
