Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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