Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How does one acquire holy water?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
