its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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