don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
