Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
