Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How's work?
Spinning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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