im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
