Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
