just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
