I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
