i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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