Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
