I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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