I need to stop coming to work sober
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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