4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
