Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
