Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
