Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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