Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
