I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
