I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
