Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
