He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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