Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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