And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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