Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
