dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
