I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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