i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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