I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
