I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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