Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
