There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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