ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
