I feel great
I just peed on a car
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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